The Fish Have Changed. Has Our Net?

The Fish Have Changed. Has Our Net?

Six gaps to mend in how we teach, guide, and support children

Dr. Shafeeq Ahmed

With thanks to Edris Khamissa, whose article “To Catch Fish Today, You Got to Mend Your Net” inspired the central metaphor and the first five gaps explored here. The sixth, on the partnership between home and school, is my added reflection.

Children are growing up in waters different from those many adults knew: digital spaces, changing expectations, and questions about belonging. When familiar approaches fail to reach them, it is tempting to blame the children. The fisherman’s metaphor invites another question: have we examined our net?

Children are not problems to be caught or controlled. Here, the net represents the relationships and learning environments that support them. These are six gaps we can begin to mend.

1. Lessons Without a Heartbeat

A lesson can cover the material yet leave learners untouched. Invite curiosity through a story, puzzle, demonstration, or question worth exploring. Engagement need not mean constant entertainment; it means giving children a reason to care and a way into the learning.

Mend it: begin with something that invites noticing, wondering, or discovery.

2. Speaking At Children, Not With Them

When adults do all the talking, children’s questions and ideas can disappear. Make participation possible through speaking, writing, drawing, or small-group discussion. Quietness is not proof of disinterest, and confidence is not the only sign of understanding.

Mend it: pause, ask an open question, and give learners time and different ways to respond.

3. Lessons That Never Touch Real Life

Connect learning to the world children recognize. Fractions can help explain sharing, language can help express a feeling, and science can begin with rain outside the window. Values become meaningful when explored through everyday choices, including how we treat others online.

Mend it: show where the lesson matters beyond the textbook.

4. A Net Woven From Fear

Correction should guide, not humiliate. Address the work or behavior without attacking the child’s worth. Keep expectations clear and boundaries fair while allowing mistakes to become opportunities for learning. Respect is compatible with accountability; cruelty is not necessary for either.

Mend it: offer specific feedback, acknowledge effort, and explain the next step.

5. Teachers Who Are Not Yet Mentors

Teaching also involves noticing the person behind the performance. My book title, The Relationship Iceberg: Understanding People Beyond Their Words, offers a useful lens: silence, frustration, or unfinished work may reveal only part of a child’s experience. Worry, confusion, or unmet support needs are possibilities to explore—not conclusions to impose.

Mend it: ask, listen, and seek appropriate support when needed. A mentor does not have to become a counsellor or carry every concern alone.

6. A Net Held by Only One Pair of Hands

Children need adults who work together rather than compete over blame. Two Worlds, One Childhood: Raising Kids Who Can Thrive Online and Offline names part of this challenge: learning, friendships, and worries can move between digital and physical spaces. Support should reach across both.

Mend it: let teachers, parents, and caregivers share observations respectfully, protect children’s privacy, and agree on practical support. Children should not become messengers in disputes between adults.

Mend One Gap This Week

These ideas belong in every community, across faiths and beliefs, cultures, languages, family circumstances, and abilities. Inclusion means making room for difference while protecting everyone’s dignity.

Teachers need support too: time, resources, and encouragement, not simply another demand. Choose one gap to address this week and ask whether the change helped a child participate, understand, or feel supported.

We do not need a perfect net overnight. We need adults willing to look beneath the surface, understand children’s changing worlds, and mend the gaps together.

www.drshafeeq.com